Almost every firearms instructor I've had would recommend a revolver for a first defensive firearm.
I'd be worried that with a small gun like the R9, there is more of a chance inexperience could yield a bad experience. I'm not saying don't buy one, but until more rounds are shot, a class or 3 are taken, I'd be hesitant to recommend carrying the R9 without a lot more of "seat time."
That said, if she does end up with a 38, I'd recommend not getting an airweight unless she carries in her pocket. That would defeat the purpose of this first timer wheelgun. An "old fashioned" revolver in 38 would have less recoil for sure. I'd also go with a shrouded hammer model (aka hammerless) like a Centennial. Also, if it's purse carried, that heavy 12lb trigger will be a LOT more safe.
Just my 0.02.
ps...
Good job converting Jody!!!!!!!!!! Almost anti-gun, and now applying for a CCW, Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!