Thanks, guys. It's good to be back.
As for any improvement in looks, all I can say is that my appearance this morning is about the same as it was the morning after my nose was originally plastered all over my face back in 1956.
The "youthful indiscretion" to which I referred was permitting myself to be recruited into my college fraternity's intramural boxing team by a devious Pledge Master named Michael Sileo. The Honorable Pledge Master Sileo had once held the title of Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the U. S. Navy's Sixth Fleet during the Korean War. He was attending college on the GI Bill and had visions of putting together a boxing team which would lay waste to the teams of the other fraternities on campus (especially the team of arch rival Delta Tau Delta), and win for him as Coach the Intramural Boxing Championship Trophy of the Columbian College of The George Washington University. The Honorable Pledge Master convinced me that I had "the look of a contender," that I had all the right moves, and that I had not only the clear opportunity but also the fraternal duty to bring honor and glory to the Delta Alpha Chapter of the Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity as a member of its intramural boxing team.
Riiiiight. The truth of the matter is that I was the only pledge in the house who met the weight requirements for the Lightweight Class (130-135 pounds).
In any event, every night for four months I trained along with the other "recruits" in a gym which Sileo had jury rigged in the basement of the frat house. Since it quickly became apparent that I lacked anything remotely resembling an awesome knockout punch, Sileo decided that I should rely on speed and maneuverability -- you know, that "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee" thing which Muhammad Ali would later make famous.
And it came to pass that when the date for the tournament arrived, I entered the ring and won my first fight in two rounds. And on the next night, I entered the ring and won my second fight in three rounds. And on the next night, I entered the ring for the quarter finals and won my third fight in two rounds.
And then there came the next night, the semifinals, where I would meet the Lightweight fighter for archrival Delta Tau Delta.
The Honorable Pledge Master/Coach Sileo assured me that I could "take this guy" and that all I needed to do was stay with the same strategy I had previously employed. And so it came to pass that when the bell rang for the first round of my semifinal bout, I met my opponent before he had even had a chance to reach the center of the ring and tagged him with a stinging left jab followed by a smart right cross. So far, so good. However, the only result was to make him mad. Everything went down hill from that point on, and a merciful referee stopped the fight early in the third round. By that time, I had two black eyes, one loose tooth, a split lip, and a gloriously flattened nose.
It seems that my Honorable Pledge Master/Coach had somehow neglected to inform me that the Lightweight fighter for Delta Tau Delta had once been a Golden Gloves Featherweight Champion while in high school.
"Ave Ceaser! Nos Morituri Te Salutamus." :-/
