I just squeeze really hard. Correction: really, really hard.
I do have VZ grips on mine, but they don't lessen the recoil at all. The may help to mitigate it a bit, but more than anything they look great.
I have been quasi interested in a mag extension, but don't want it taking up extra real estate in the front pocket.
My R9 has been broken for a bit waiting for the factory to reopen but I have ran a lot of rounds through mine.
There are some really good guys on here. Oh, and Tracker too... Just kidding Tracker : )
I think most guys just grin and bear it. Probably the best thing you could do is to go shoot a Seecamp 380 and then you become slightly desensitized to the recoil.
My opinion is that "carry much and shoot little" has become the mantra of the R9 forum because of some of the peculiar nuances of owning the worlds smallest 9mm auto pistol which are:
1) fairly stout recoil
2) has an appetite for expensive ammo. Mine likes 124 gr gold dot and 124 gr lawman.
3) MAY not be the most rugged considering the fact that it is a small light design shooting the 9mm cartridge. Not what most would call a range pistol
4) grip screw vibrate out hence rendering the pistol useless (get some lock tight or O'rings)
There may be more and some of these may or may not be the case with yours.
The point being this... If you carry it a lot (because it's small enough to do so) and you shoot it little (because of the aforementioned reasons) you shouldn't have to worry a lot about heavy recoil, expensive rounds, wearing out prematurely or grip screws vibrating out.
These tend to be looked at as the "negatives", but to me and most on here it's just the price of doing business with the worlds smallest 9mm.
For what it's worth I didn't heed a lot of the recommendations (largely because I didn't look for this site until AFTER I had some reliability issues with my USED R9) and ended up spending a lot of time, money and sore hands getting my feet wet in the R9 world : )
So that's my 2 cents worth. Sounds like you got a good one. Let us know what you find to reduce recoil best and welcome to the forum.