The glock 26, subcompact 9mm has some of the best properties for recoil sensitivity. The heavy slide takes out the recoil but the sacrifice is the size. If size is not the concern, I would strongly recomend having her shoot. Stress the her shoot. She needs to decide what works best. The kel tec in .380 is a very good shooting pistol my wife also shoots. I would agree that after 100 rounds, it will start to hurt the hand. What feels good in a man's hand can feel different in the wife's hand. My wife enjoys both and she picked out what she wanted. Keep in mind, the smallest recomended bullet by CCW and police personal tends to be .380. If a confontration requiring self defense of yourself or a love one is 5 yards or less, then a smaller caliber bullet may suffice. Imagine the confrontation occuring in a supermarket and the bad guy is shooting at people and you from 15 to 20 yards, you will want a pistol that can hit them in the chest from this distance. Things to consider why you carry a gun.